Ever hang out with someone and leave feeling like you could conquer the world? Or, worse, spend time with a friend and feel like you’ve just wasted a piece of your soul? Yup, we’ve all been there.
Here’s the thing—your circle of friends is more powerful than you think. They’re not just your movie buddies or the people you text memes to (though, let’s be honest, memes are crucial). They’re your environment. Their habits, goals, and attitudes seep into your brain like tea in hot water.
And that’s where things get tricky. Because if you’re hanging with the wrong crowd, guess what? They might be unknowingly holding you back. On the flip side, when you’re surrounded by people who challenge and inspire you, something magical happens. You start to grow.
The Secret Power of Your Circle
Think of your closest friends as your Wi-Fi signal. The stronger they are, the better your connection to success. The weaker they are? Well, good luck loading the next page of your dreams.
When you spend time with people, you naturally pick up on their habits. It’s like osmosis, but for attitudes. If your friends are positive, hardworking, and goal-driven, you’ll start to lean in that direction. But if they’re lazy, negative, or stuck in the past, you’ll probably feel like you’re spinning your wheels, too.
It’s not about blaming anyone—it’s about being honest. Are the people in your life adding value, or are they dragging you down?
Are You the Average of the Five People You Hang Out With?
There’s this popular idea: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” And let’s be honest—it’s kinda true.
If your five closest people are motivated, curious, and fun, chances are, you’re on that same wavelength. But if they’re constantly complaining, procrastinating, or settling for mediocrity, you might notice you’re doing the same.
Here’s a fun little exercise:
- Write down the five people you spend the most time with.
- Ask yourself: Do they inspire me? Challenge me? Push me to be better?
If the answers are mostly “no,” don’t panic. It doesn’t mean you have to drop them like a bad habit. It just means you might want to balance things out by spending more time with people who lift you up.
The Traits of “Level-Up” Friends
So, what kind of people should you hang out with if you want to grow? Here’s the cheat sheet:
- The Cheerleaders: These are your hype squad. They believe in you even when you’re doubting yourself. They’re the ones texting you, “You got this!” right before your big presentation.
- The Challengers: These friends call you out—kindly—when you’re slacking. They’re not afraid to say, “Hey, you’re better than this.”
- The Curious Ones: They’re always learning something new. Spending time with them feels like a mental upgrade.
- The Doers: These people don’t just talk about their goals—they crush them. Being around them will make you want to get off the couch and start working on your own dreams.
- The Positives: Their energy is contagious. They’re the glass-half-full people who make tough situations feel manageable.
How to Find These People
Okay, so maybe you’re reading this and thinking, “That’s great, but where do I even find these magical humans?” Don’t worry—they’re out there. You just have to put yourself in the right places.
Step 1: Be the Kind of Person You Want to Attract
This one’s big. If you want friends who are ambitious, kind, and positive, guess what? You’ve got to embody those traits too. Energy attracts energy. If you’re constantly complaining or avoiding growth, you might be repelling the people you’re trying to connect with.
Step 2: Go Where Growth Happens
You won’t find level-up friends binge-watching TV every weekend (no shade to Netflix, though). You’ll find them at book clubs, networking events, fitness classes, or online communities where people are learning and growing.
Step 3: Make the First Move
Making new friends as an adult is awkward, but it’s worth it. Compliment someone’s work. Join a group and start a conversation. Say yes to invites, even if it feels uncomfortable.
When Growth Gets Uncomfortable
Let’s be real—hanging out with people who push you to grow can feel weird at first. You might feel out of your league, like the least successful person in the room. And that’s okay! In fact, that’s a good thing.
If you’re the smartest or most accomplished person in your group, you’re probably in the wrong group. Growth happens when you’re surrounded by people who challenge you. It’s like working out—those first few reps might burn, but that’s how you get stronger.
Real-Life Glow-Up Stories
Here’s what this looks like in action:
- Before: You spend most weekends with friends who complain about their jobs but never do anything to change them.
- After: You start hanging out with someone who’s building a side hustle. Suddenly, you’re inspired to work on your own dreams.
- Before: Every conversation with your friends is about gossip or negativity.
- After: You meet someone at a coffee shop who’s all about gratitude and self-growth. Over time, your outlook shifts, and you feel lighter.
What to Do About Old Friendships
Now, let’s talk about the tough part: what if your current friends aren’t helping you grow? Do you just cut them off?
Not necessarily. Instead, think of it like this: relationships are like a budget. You’ve got limited time and energy, so you need to “spend” it wisely. It’s okay to prioritize people who inspire and challenge you while setting boundaries with those who don’t.
Remember, you’re not abandoning anyone—you’re just making sure your own garden has the right soil to grow.
Quality Over Quantity
You don’t need a huge circle of friends to level up. In fact, even one or two growth-oriented friends can make a massive difference. Focus on quality, not quantity.
Your Tribe, Your Choice
At the end of the day, you get to choose who you let into your life. You can’t control other people, but you can control how much energy you give to relationships that don’t align with your goals.
So, here’s your challenge: take a good look at your circle. Are these the people who inspire you to become your best self? If the answer is “no,” it’s time to make some changes.
Because when you surround yourself with the right people, something amazing happens: you don’t just raise your standards—you raise your whole life.
